"I understand"... (I think)

Eve, this one was going to be my comment for your post... I was actually stringing a few thoughts together along the lines of understanding points of view and your piece was enough of an inspiration to get it out. The comment was a little lengthy so I let it grow legs and walk away on its own.

When we encounter a person with a problem, more often than not, we tend to look at their situation from our own point of view. The thing is, no one can really ever know what someone else is thinking or experiencing at that moment. We do this and apply our thoughts and patterns to their situations. When their words or actions seem to make no sense at all, we should realize that it just doesn't make any sense to us as we look at it from a 3'rd person's point of view.

We need to learn and accept that it all makes perfect sense to them at that point in time they find themselves in. Sometimes we try to put so much of ourselves out there we stretch ourselves too thin or overstep our limitations in perspective and accepted boundries. I have learned after removing my foot from my mouth (a continual practice) that sometimes what we feel like saying to make a situation better is actually the last thing we should say and definitely the last thing that the anguished want to hear.

"I understand"... First 2 bricks in the road to ruin paved with good intentions... They seem like a comfort that is most easily extended, but I can say after having many different combinations of tears, saliva, slamming fists, and other projectiles directed, intentionally or not, in my direction I can safely say they aren't. Unless you have been through exactly the same situation someone else is encountering, and even if you have, you should stay well clear of the 2 worded pratfall.

To avoid sounding preachy, I should say these are observations I have made over the last few years and have found the above to be mostly true but in no means are they scripture. (even then there would be debate)... If anything, saying nothing at all might be the best thing to do. There have been times when it was all going south for me and what has brought it level was just having someone there to be a sounding board to. (thanks S'Mat)

A little compassion can go a long way in helping to bridge the gap between the suffering and the able. We encounter scores of people during our daily travels and the slightest act of kindness or generosity can change the course of their day. We may not even notice what we've done or how it's affected someone else; It's worked for me. I learned that lesson a long time ago, but the scene from "ER" when Dr. Green is dying and he tells his daughter to always be generous really hit it home for me.

You're never really ever going to know exactly what someone else is going through, but if they are willing to share, take the time to listen or at the very least just accept what is going on. You may not feel like you've done much of anything, but as my friend Abdul found out, what you do or don't do can change someone for a lifetime.