How Could You Tell?

I guess I should give up my poker career before it begins or I'll lose the shirt off my back. You know the feeling we all sometimes have where we think we're completely in control of our goings on and things are just as we will them to be; we give off the vibe, walk with the swagger that nothing can send our ship listing... Well apparently, I do that as well as I can run a sprint in stilettos. (and no, for the record, I can't do that... seriously)

The other day, I was in therapy, no not that kind, for a strained groin muscle, and no not that kind either... My main therapist Dana had put me through some painful trigger point muscle releases (ok, I can see where you people can get thrown off now) when the time came for her to tend to her next clien err patient leaving me yet to receive my ultrasound treatment. A second year student was sitting around watching and learning and Dana asked Emily if she wouldn't mind doing my ultrasound and she said yes.

At this point, I was lying flat on my back while the sonic gel was applied above the injured area. Let's just get it out there that yes, it was very high up the leg and anyone looking from her back and seeing the back and forth motion could assume the sexual best for me, but alas... We chatted to pass the time, eventually she got to asking about my oft injured shoulder which can only be described as being akin to Mel Gibson's in all the Lethal Weapon movies. She asked when I would be getting the reconstructive surgery on it and I replied when I found a good girl to take care of me afterwards. She let out in response, "I could do with a good guy to take care of me".

Totally un-related, I'm listening to the Killers cover of Dire Straight's Romeo and Juliet right now, it's so good.

I don't know if it was a case of thinking out loud or whatever, but it piqued the interest level a touch. Now I thought to myself, hmmm, maybe she's single, but a cute girl like that with personality not dating someone... Seemed plausible, but then there was the second thought, she's got a guy already and he's a knuckle dragging, douche bag and she's looking for a change... In either case we carried on and I can honestly say it was effortless and enjoyable.

It was only after that I'd gotten vertical did I realize she was much more woman than I could appreciate from my back, a whole 3 inches or so more... I've had to look up to a lot of people in my life and I did so with no issue in this case. I noticed she had nice greenish brown eyes that she framed up very well in her stylish glasses and hey, I've always been a sucker for nice eyes. I didn't care much to leave the clinic after I was finished up with my treatment and we chatted a little bit more with her roommate who also happens to be one of the program supervisors (a potential obstacle).

I eventually made my way home and after settling in for a game of Scrabulous, I got a phone call from a girlfriend of mine. We were talking for a bit, catching up on the goings on of the day and her less than involved relationship that sadly is making it's last laps around the bowl. Eventually I made mention that I'd met a girl and instantly she declared, "A HA!!! I knew it!" I was puzzled and asked what she meant. She went on to explain that she knew something good had happened to me because she could hear it in my voice. I didn't think I had any different tone than the usual so I was caught off guard for being caught out.

Never one to stay bashful for long I tried to play it off but no dice, she was all over me for details. I was sorry to say that there weren't too many but it didn't stop her excitement for me. Who knows what will come of it, but at the very least there's no harm in asking as she and some of the other members of my booster club have suggested.

Like We Both Saw A Ghost

Ah, back to the world of the Blog...

I've been working on an entry for the London part of my trip but it's been slow coming. Instead, I left it be for a while hoping to get into the right groove to finish it. You'll understand when you read it... I figured that I'd maybe witness something interesting to write about in the mean time. Had I known what exactly would have unfolded for me to write about, I'm pretty sure I would have traded that experience for the tedium and skullduggery that usually inspires my prosaic literary endeavours... (j/k)

It's taken me the better part of my week to reconcile everything in my head and heart and seeing as how I tend to wear the latter on my sleeve, I needed to get some dry cleaning done before I resumed my type. Last Sunday was the last day of the International Jazz Festival that is held annually in the Beaches area of my division. We'd worked the previous 3 days and the day before, I'd played 2 full rugby games in the stifling heat and then worked a full 10 hour shift so needless to say, I was pretty ground down by the time Sunday had come around. Add into the mix that we had a short turn around from the end of shift 2AM earlier that morning to be back in again at 10AM and I was at the point where a teething infant could've taken me out. I'd have cried, but the press would've loved the photo op.

Most of the team was pretty wiped as well so we figured it'd be a good start to the day if we went out for a group breakfast. It was decided that we would meet up at Vi Vetha, a nice but not over-priced restaurant in the east end of our territory. After a healthy selection and a few jokes, many having me as the ass end of them, we attempted to settle our bill. We were politely told by our waitress that someone else who had been dining in the restaurant had already taken care of our bills and just wanted to say thanks and to keep up the good work. We all thought that was a grand gesture considering the venom that is at times directed our way. After leaving the waitress a massive tip we made our way out. As we exited via the front patio, I looked out to the last table before the exit. At first, I noticed a nice red top, and then long brown hair, and then a pair of very familiar and striking green eyes that looked like and OH MY GOD, they WERE Jeannie's...

I hadn't seen her in almost a year and a half since the night we broke up and this was NOT the way I thought our first meeting would go. Our eyes seemed to lock and I couldn't tell if that sensation coming over me was relief or a mild dose of cardiac arrest. Oh yes, and there was also the slight matter of the company she was in for breakfast. I had taken a quick look at the guy and immediately knew that he was the fortunate one who had started to see her after me. In case some of you are scratching your heads, refer to this before you continue reading. Caught up? Good. I figured this wasn't the place to get all tongue tied and goopy so I put my best face and foot forward and then proceeded to smile and say hi to her. I don't know what it was, but she had the complete deer in the head lights thing going on, like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been. I hadn't the slightest that she was in the area seeing as how her home was about an hour away but it didn't take me too long to figure out she had been visiting him. (Sign me up for rocket science class)

I should have had some clue that I would run into her in the near future after I had run into her friend and travel mate, Lauren. A few days earlier, Lauren was walking with her mother and had just said to her, "this is James' area, I wonder if we'll see him tonight" when I rode past them. I doubled back to talk and she had told me that Jeannie had mentioned that I had gone traveling and asked if the trip had been good. We chatted and caught up briefly and I left thinking, hmmm, it's nice to know that Jeannie still thought and talked about me even if just in passing. I just didn't know that I would see her that soon after seeing Lauren. Things coming in 3, I figure, it'll only be a matter of time until I run into their other roommate Katie, but I digress.

I stood there barely believing what was unfolding before me was actually going on. I can't remember for the worth of me, all of what I said, but I do remember her tripping over herself and asking me the same things twice. I made sure not to blither like an idiot or go all doe eyed on her lest I lose any foothold I had on the situation. She introduced the guy she was with just as Mike. I shook his hand and introduced myself all the while silently wishing to myself that he'd die a fiery death or at the very least develop leprosy somewhere in the groin region. After that, I had a quick silent chuckle to myself as I really don't think that she knows that I know who he is in her life and if he didn't know before who I was, he would know in very short order. I seized the opportunity and excused myself from the chance meet (and personal implosion) citing my intrusion on their meal and the need for me to get back to my duties. I told her that it was nice seeing her and said good bye.

I walked to the other side of the patio where our bikes had been locked up and said under my breath to my partner, "and now I'm going to hang myself"... :P He didn't quite understand why at the time and as he explained, just thought that she was someone I knew and might have been an ex. When I told him that was Jeannie, the "OOOOOOooooohhhh" he dropped said it all. As we geared up, another customer sitting on the patio engaged me in conversation. As it turned out, she was still in my line of sight, but I made it a point not to look obviously in her direction. I could see when he got up to either pay or relieve himself that she reached for her cell and feverishly typed out a text message to whom I can only assume was Lauren. I wonder what that message said... He came back and the two of them left, and I couldn't help but notice the distance or the lack of closeness there was between them.

The whole experience left me in a daze and I almost got into an accident riding away from the restaurant. I was shaken and visibly put off enough that the guys even stopped making jokes at my expense for the day. I had some time later to think and it was something that I can't really put in words, but the brief moment of silence where our eyes were the only connection being made, I knew there were unfinished matters between the two of us. I don't mean to say that I thought we were going to get back together; that would just be asinine. There was just something left wanting. As for the other guy, I honestly don't have any malice towards either of them, unless of course he is a royal douche bag and mis-treats her. Life is always about change and the chances you take or don't. Her plans to travel were constantly being delayed and in the mean time she started seeing him. I still believe she was right in her reasons for breaking up with me and can honestly find no reason to be upset other than pride. It will be interesting to see what if anything unfolds from here going forward. I'm still trying to process it, and from what some of my friends have opined, she most likely is doing the same, if not more so.

I guess if there was a way to run into her, despite my internal mashing, that was the best circumstance. Everything that is there to know is out there. There were no comfort blankets of guy and girl friends for either of us to wrap ourselves in. I'd like to think that I handled it well and having recently read a Cosmo article on what not to do when running into an ex, the chances of that are good. :P

Et Tu Mrs. Robinson?

So I recently started seeing a stewardess, or flight attendant as they are to be p.c. referred to as... This whole situation started out rather innocently and randomly as it was. Normally when one attends a home show, the last thing they think of is picking up or being picked up as the course of browsing and sampling is done. So imagine my surprise when I found myself with plans for a first date while running to catch the train home.

I'd first seen her from down the exhibit hall. While at the home decor booth that she was working at, we struck up a bit of a conversation. Being at the home show, she asked me if I was looking for things home related and if there were kids or a wife to consider while looking around. Double edged sword that question, half business, half scoping me out... The latter and slightly sinful, second side of course wasn't realized by me to be so until I'd already cut my rug with the course of my dance... I prattled off about not being able to wait to have kids, but being able to wait if she got what I meant. I proceeded to lay it all out and basically advertise myself as a guy who wasn't prepared to have a family let alone a stable or serious relationship. I was single, it was the summer, I wanted to travel and be a heart melter more so than a heart breaker. Ha.

So we talked and I noticed right away that she was older, but how much older, I didn't know, or didn't care about at that exact moment. I also noticed she was a fair bit taller than I was. You see, as a towering 5'6" Chinese dude, there aren't too many women out there who picture me as the ideal guy they wake up hoping to meet based on pure physical expectations. I understand and I get that, but I am of the attitude of instead of asking "Why me?", it's now "Why not me?". Her booth got busy and I toured around for a bit before stopping by on my way out. I thought about whether I should or not, but in the end, I said "fuck it" and asked her out. Turns out she was really hoping I was going to ask her out and was even thinking of asking me out if I didn't ask her first.

The first date a week later was a dinner and a beach front walk, the second, 5 days after the first, was the lunch and a movie affair. Both of those went well and turns out she's a great kisser which never hurt anyone. Seemed to work for her as she'd let slip on our first date something equating good kissing with good sex. I'm a guy so food, sex talk, good looking women and a long day at work made things a tad bit hard to concentrate so her quote may be slightly off... The third date was supposed to be the next night with us making dinner at her place and then watching a movie. Things didn't happen in that order but in the end, they did.

Since then, there hasn't been much time for or any attempts at another proper date with rendez-vous (pl) having to suffice. Oh, and I still don't know how old she is. I'm thinking somewhere between 32 and 37. Though I could be wrong on the older side of things. My only clue is that her film and tv credits start from what she's told me in 1992 or 93... On the flip side of that, I don't think she knows how old I am either ( 27 btw ). I am usually of the jeans and t-shirt persuasion, but on that first day I was dressed in my business attire having just come from court. Seems like we're both going with the flow and allowing come what may.

Don't know really what to do here, nor am I really thinking about it. The physical connection is there, but I don't know whether it's a matter of not having the emotional, or me not wanting to extend that part of myself out. Just putting into practice the whole summer of James attitude: going out and being, enjoying myself and not worrying about the past, doing what it is that I want, taking chances I may not have previously and just experiencing and in this case doing so with the experienced. I figured I'd have things go my way at some point, just wasn't expecting it so soon or in this form. : )